Friday, 12 June 2015

Heeding The Signs

Hello there love bugs!
I hope you’re all well and happy?

It has been a long time since I have posted anything on here and my, my, my, has a lot changed since my last post on 29 November 2014! (What a shameful time gap!)

If you are a regular reader of For The Love of Moi, you would’ve noticed that in the posts leading up to the last one in November last year, FTLOM took a turn in the type of content that was being shared. I assure you that this was not planned but was merely a reflection of what was going on in my life at that time.

So to give you the short version, here’s the skinny on what led to the changes in the content and my life.

Now as some of you may remember in 2013 I managed to get the job of my dreams that I had been working so hard for! Don’t get me wrong it was no high flying job with the salary to match, but was that foot in the door that I had wanted and was enough for me. However the more involved I became in my job the more my body was trying to tell me to slow down, but as much as I was learning about heeding the signs of life, I sure as hell wasn’t heeding these signs until one day at our busiest time of the year on my way to work I was involved in a car crash which should have been more than enough to make me or anyone for that matter stop and say, “Ok universe, I’ve heard you loud and clear! From this day forth I vow to put my health first”, but no that wasn’t enough for little ol’ me now was it, as the very next day I was back at my laptop, (even if it was from my living room whilst propped up by ever cushion in the room.)

It wasn’t until I had a full blown panic attack in the canteen whilst at work with embarrassing visions flashing through my mind of being airlifted out of the campus and taken to the nearest hospital that I realised that I was suffering from anxiety which the doctors failed to pick up on when I told them I was having breathing problems to which their solution was to put me on steroid based medication!!!

So after going back to the doctor and telling them that the problem was not asthma, but was in fact anxiety (imagine having to tell your doctor what they should have told you! A rant for another day) they told me the best thing anyone could have ever told me at that stage of my anxiety, even if it wasn’t what I wanted to hear … which went something like this; ‘Sara, you have two options, you can either find a way of coping or you can find a new job’!

Fast forward one year and this is where I’m at; I worked through a lot of my anxiety with the support of my family, friends, colleagues who have become friends and an amazing yoga teacher and realised that there were a lot of things that needed to change in my life which started with the way that I was treating myself and the way that I approached life.
I found ways of managing my workload as well as more time for myself, I realised that there were other factors that contributed to my anxiety which I am still learning how to deal with, but the most important thing that I have learned so far, is the importance of the connection with myself which I somehow managed to lose along the way. However since this realisation I have managed to restore and continue to build this connection every single day, and yes, even on the shit days, because we all have them no matter how zen we deem ourselves to be.

As for the job, I called it a day and followed my heart to rekindle an old flame. I packed my bags, left on jet plane and to be honest, I’m not too sure when I’ll be back again!

But in mean time I plan to keep sharing my experiences and discoveries with you all, which will include the good, the bad and the hella ugly, as I know I’m not alone on this amazing rollercoaster we call life and what’s an experience if you’re not able to share it? Even if it’s only through a blog.

Love Sara. xxx 

Saturday, 29 November 2014

Epiphany of Change

Last week I had a long overdue lunch with one of my mentors, who always manages to add some sunshine to my day.

Over the past few months I have experienced complete and utter exhaustion, being overwhelmed and anxious to the point where even I at times didn’t recognise myself!

Now a few months down the line I’m nowhere near ‘cured’ or free of the above, but I’m definitely on the path to a much better place.

Earlier this year I had a car accident, which in hindsight was the straw that thankfully broke the camel’s back. Unfortunately in this life its takes a negative and frightening experience to slap you about and tell you to wake the hell up to reality and that’s exactly what that accident did for me.

For almost the past 2 years of my life I have allowed myself to become so involved in my professional life by trying to keep up with those around me and what societies idea of what a young professional female should be, that I forgot about the most important person in my life… me! Sounds silly I know; how can I forget about me when I spend every single day with me? But this is easily done when you become so consumed with the day to day tasks of work and life that sometimes you forget to stop, breathe and take the time to take care of you. Well I had been doing that for longer than I can remember and when I finally realised that this is what I’d been doing, everything began to change.

As they say change is good, but what I have had to learn is that change is also flipping hard, especially when the change is so big that you know that every relationship in your life will change as a result of the changing of the relationship you have with yourself. This has been no easy ride and changes by the day, sometimes even by the hour. But with each day I have learned to understand it all a little more and accept it a little more, but here is what I learnt and understood last week with the help of my wonderful mentor.

With change there is always a loss and this is sometimes why change can feel uncomfortable. I also learnt that throughout life we have ways of doing things that have always served us well, but sometimes these things no longer serve us and this is ok. But when these things that we do and may have done for our entire lives, or the last decade of our lives no longer serve us, it’s ok to let them go, because there is no point in holding on to something that no longer works in our favour. Sometimes this can mean letting go of something that has become a part of you, but this doesn’t mean that you a losing yourself or even compromising who you are. It just means that you are making space and opening yourself up to something new that will serve you and will allow you to evolve, grow and develop in to the person who you are destined to be and that will help you flourish in your next chapter.

This is simple and deep down this was something that I already knew, but through having this casual lunch with my bubbly and supportive mentor, the penny finally dropped. By letting go and cleansing myself of certain habits and ways that I have always had does not mean that I am losing myself. It means that I am giving myself the permission and acceptance to grown into the person I need to be for the next stage of my life and I should not, regret, mourn or feel anger or fear towards this, instead I should embrace it and let it be.

These are just some of the lessons I learned last week that I wanted to share with you… There plenty more where they came from so I’ll do my best to share them with you when I can.

Love Sara. xxx

Monday, 29 September 2014

Monday Motivation

We live in a world where we are constantly being subconsciously and sometimes consciously moulded into what society, families, friends and even companies want us to be for many a different reasons, which basically all boil down to control.

Some people will never understand this or even realise that this is happening to them. Some people will realise it's happening but simply can't find the courage to confront it, where others will realise it, confront it and tell it to shove it where the sun don't shine!

By doing the latter, you will most certainly piss off a couple of people but hey, I say that's a small price to pay for breaking free and being true to yourself.

In today's world we have become so consumed by working hard and playing less that we have lost touch with the things that really matter.

One of the hardest challenges in this life (that ironically should be the easiest), is being true to who we are. This can be for a number of different reasons, but more than often I find that this is simply because who we really are, at our core, conflicts with the expectations that society has set for the human race.

So this week, (and for every week hereafter) I would like to ask you all to be true to yourself! Think about you and what makes you feel good, what makes you smile and what makes you feel free and what ever that is, find a way to bring it to life!

Image from Luna Belle

Be brave, be you and be free!

Have a great week y'all!

Tuesday, 14 January 2014

F.R.I.E.N.D.S Do we Really Need Them .... Hell Yes!!

Last week was a very trying week and my friends simply were my saviour.

Sometimes in life you need to be told about yourself, not in a nasty way but simply because you’re being too hard on yourself and sometime you need someone to talk to help you make sense of the things in your life that you just can’t figure out alone.

You should know something about me that I have only really discovered in the past year… I am an utter control freak and being the control freak that I am is currently ruining my life! Ok that was a little dramatic… It’s not ruining my life it’s just making my life harder than what it needs to be.

You see my problem is this, I know the beauty of living in the moment because I spent the better part of 2013 doing just that, but I also have this thing that I do which is called being overly ambitious. This is not a bad thing, but this usually leads to me setting my sights on something that I want to be or do, working my arse off to get it and then once I have it, not exploring it and then setting my sights on the next big thing. In short this means that I live a lot in the future which equals major anxiety. This is something that I am working on and at times I’m better at it than others. However for the past few weeks I have been failing miserably and this is where the help and support of good friends come in.

Over the Christmas my good amiga came home from uni and we had a blast! So much of a blast I didn’t realise how much I’d missed having a friend around who gets me in every way possible and best of all, is as honest as f*@#! Some people hate that, but I love it! It sets the real apart from the fake and there is nothing better that having friends that call it like they see it and believe me, that is exactly what she did.

To put it simply, my dear friend verbally shook some sense into me and helped me to remember that there is nothing wrong with having ambition and goals in life, but sometimes I just need to give myself a flipping break and acknowledge all of the great things I have already achieved and be proud of them. She also reminded me to live in the moment and to stop spending so much time worrying and trying to control the things in life that ultimately, I have no control over.

All in all, having great friends in life is a must! And I mean real friends, one’s like my good mate that I’ve just spent the last 400 odd words talking about. Friends that never judge you, friend that will still be your friend regardless of the choices you make so long as you remain true to yourself whilst making them, friends that will not only just listen to your problems, but friends who are down to help you find solutions to your problems even if means telling you to get your head out of your arse, but above all, friends that you can be your complete and utter self with and have a good old fashioned laugh about everything and nothing all at the same time!

Value you friends lovebugs… good ones are hard to find.
Love Sara (A little Lady with a Kick Ass friend called Arti!). xxx